Forgiving the unforgivable

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Two people who lost loved ones to irresponsible drivers now work with those drivers to prevent similar tragedies.

By Joe Wisinski
Bay News 9 Web Staff

The chances of Renee Napier and Bruce Murakami ever meeting would have seemed slim.

Napier lived in Pensacola Beach and Murakami in Tampa. They had never heard of each other. But similar tragedies befalling their families brought Napier and Murakami together in a common cause.

Napier's nightmare began with a knock on the door at 8:45 a.m.

This banner shows Eric Smallridge as he is sentenced for causing an accident that killed Meagan Napier, left, and Lisa Dickson.

Her sister-in-law, Barbara Burks, needed to see her. Burks was about to tell Napier something no parent can imagine hearing.

"There was an accident," Burks said. "It was Meagan. She didn't make it."

All Napier remembers is screaming, "No, no, no."

What Napier calls "the most horrible nightmare a parent can go through" had happened to her. Her daughter Meagan was dead.

Meagan died early in the morning of May 11, 2002. The day before Mother's Day.

Napier had planned to spend the holiday with two of her daughters, Meagan and Michelle, in Tallahassee.

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	Click here to send an e-mail to Bay News 9 web writer/editor Joe Wisinski.

Instead, she spent the day at Meagan's wake.

Like Napier, Murakami had suffered a tragedy that tore his life apart.

On Nov. 16, 1998, then 19-year-old Justin Cabezas was street racing on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa. He reached a speed of almost 90 mph when Murakami's wife, Cindy, pulled out from a grocery store parking lot.

Cabezas' rented Dodge Intrepid slammed into Cindy's van. Cindy and the Murakami's 11-year-old daughter, Chelsea, died in a fireball.

Four lives ended, two destroyed, many devastated

On the last day of her life, Meagan ate lunch with her mother and maternal grandmother at Obrien's Bistro in Pensacola. None of the three had any idea it would be their final meal together.

The car Meagan and Lisa were in skidded into this tree.

At 11:30 that night, Meagan and Renee had what would become their last conversation. They talked of driving to Tallahassee the next day, where they planned to visit Michelle, a student at Florida State University.

After the phone conversation, Meagan and her friend, Lisa Dickson, both 20-year-old sophomores at Tallahassee Community College, headed to the beach, where they lay on the sand admiring the stars. They left for a friend's house at about 1:30 a.m.

Meanwhile, college senior Eric Smallridge also spent part of his day at the beach. He arrived late in the morning with a case of beer and spent the day drinking. After a restaurant dinner, including a few more beers, Smallridge hit a couple of bars, then returned to the beach.

Friends estimated Smallridge drank about 13 beers throughout the afternoon and evening. When Smallridge and his friends left the beach, a friend told him he was too drunk to drive and wanted to take him home.

But Smallridge refused. He didn't want anyone else driving his Jeep, and got behind the wheel.

Smallridge, in the middle lane of a three-lane road, overtook Meagan and Lisa, who were in the left lane. Police would later say Smallridge was traveling between 47 and 65 mph in a 35-mph zone.

As the road curved slightly left, Smallridge's car clipped Meagan's and Lisa's back right tire, sending their Mazda sliding sideways. The passenger side, where Meagan sat, slammed into a tree.

Click on the graphic for a larger photo of Meagan's and Lisa's car.

Both young women died instantly.

Although his blood-alcohol level was 0.2 percent, 2 1/2 times the .08 limit at which drivers are presumed to be impaired, Smallridge's defense at his trial was that alcohol was not the factor that caused his Jeep to hit the Mazda. He said a Camaro in the right lane had cut him off, pushing him into the Mazda.

But the jury convicted him of two counts of DUI manslaughter and two counts of vehicular homicide. He is serving a 22-year sentence for his crime. Smallridge was 24 when he entered prison. If he serves his full sentence, he'll be pushing 50 by the time he's released.

The accident not only took Meagan's and Lisa's lives and destroyed Smallridge's, it devastated many others.

Napier said several friends of Meagan and Lisa thought of suicide because they didn't know how to handle the loss of their friends.

"A lot of people lost two very wonderful friends," Napier said.

The accident that ended Cindy and Chelsea Murakami's lives also devastated Bruce Murakami.

"The good Lord blessed me with the best imaginable partner, a beautiful wife with an inner beauty that shined like the brightest star," Murakami would later write on a web site dedicated to his wife and daughter. "Chelsea, I thanked God every day for my sweet little daughter, my true princess with a loving personality so much like her mother's. You were the absolute sunshine on the gloomiest, cloudiest of days."

Cabezas wasn't initially charged in the crash that killed Cindy and Chelsea. The Florida Highway Patrol told Bruce the accident was Cindy's fault. Later, however, a different prosecutor decided there was enough evidence to prosecute the case and charged Cabezas with two counts of vehicular homicide, a second-degree felony. Cabezas faced up to 30 years in prison.

Another life shattered.

Anger, forgiveness and activism

Cabezas' indictment came about because of Murakami's dogged determination. Angry and wanting revenge, he fought for almost three years to get Cabezas charged. He wanted Cabezas to spend time in prison.

But Murakami said he came to see that Cabezas wasn't a bad person, but someone who had made a mistake.

He changed his mind and forgave the driver who killed his wife and daughter.

"I realized that this terrible crash would claim one more victim," Murakami said.

More Information
	For more information about Safe Teen Driver, go to its web site or call (727) 420-7937. Click here to read excerpts of the letter Eric Smallridge wrote from prison about life behind bars. Click here to read Bruce Murakami's memorial to his wife and daughter.

On the day that Cabezas pleaded guilty to two counts of manslaughter, Murakami asked the judge to give him a sentence of community service instead of sending him to prison. Murakami also asked that Cabezas work with him in an organization he was forming called Safe Teen Driver.

The judge sentenced Cabezas to two years of house arrest, eight years of probation and 300 hours of community service.

Now Murakami and Cabezas travel the country together educating young drivers. Safe Teen Driver encourages young people to drive responsibly and works with victims of irresponsible driving and their families.

Just as Murakami forgave Cabezas, Napier forgave Smallridge for killing Meagan. She is building a relationship with his family and hopes Smallridge's mother will join her in speaking to young people. Napier wants people to know the accident not only took two young lives and destroyed Smallridge's life, but devastated the lives of Smallridge's family, too.

"They're going through a different kind of grieving process," Napier said.

Napier hopes Smallridge will be allowed furloughs from prison so he can talk to young people about drinking and driving. She also asked him to write a letter about what his life in prison is like.

Through a series of circumstances, Napier and Murakami learned of each other's tragedies. The two grieving people later made contact and began working together to tell the world what happened to their loved ones.

Napier moved to Pinellas County because Safe Teen Driver is headquartered there, and works with Murakami through the organization to spread an anti-drinking-and-driving message. She speaks to high school students and driver's ed classes as far away as New York, California, and Hawaii.

"I've become passionate," she said. "If I was asked to speak every day I would do it."

Napier is working on plans to run her own foundation and hopes to work full time on anti-drinking-and-driving issues.

"For me, it's very healing," she said of her work. "Healing begins when you talk about it."

Forgiveness, however, does not mean the pain is gone.

"Part of me is missing," Napier said. "I've learned to live without that part of me, but I'm always aware that it's not there."

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