Taken on its own merits, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” is a serviceable, occasionally entertaining pirate yarn.

It is, however, almost impossible to take the film on its own merits. This is a “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequel, and like every other sequel in the wake of the 2003 original it carries the burden of having to measure up in some way to that film’s maniac, thrilling cinematic genius.

Looked upon in that light, “Dead Men Tell No Tales” is a drab, leaden affair. It’s too long, its script lacks comic zip, and its lead performances range from bland to almost unintelligible.

What’s it about?

Young Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), the son of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), has spent virtually his entire life searching for a way to free his father from the curse of the Flying Dutchman (see “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”). Having studied the sea’s many myths and legends, he believes at last he’s found the solution: a mystical artifact said to have the power to end all curses, the Trident of Poseidon.

Just one problem – the Trident, supposedly, can never be found. That is, until Henry encounters Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a young woman whose willful attitude and mind for astronomy and mathematics have most people convinced that she is, in fact, a witch. (It is the 18th Century, after all.)

Carina believes she can read the map that will lead to the Trident. She just needs a ship to get her there.

Enter infamous scoundrel and scalawag Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). As usual, Jack’s down on his luck – his beloved ship, the Black Pearl, is still stuck in a bottle, his crew has all but deserted him, and he’s being hunted by one very angry cursed ship captain, Salazar (Javier Bardem), who is also destroying any other pirates who get in his way.

A mythical treasure, an undead and very persistent antagonist, the British Navy, as always, out to stretch his neck, and two young, rather annoyingly virtuous people Jack would gladly keel-haul except that he needs them to save his own skin. Sound familiar? You’d think Jack would be getting weary of this sort of thing.

But then again, what would a pirate’s life be without them?

Back to tried-and-true

After letting Jack take center stage in 2011’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and veteran “Pirates” scribe Terry Rossio return to tried-and-true with this new adventure. As much as audiences might be there to see Jack be “Jack”, they seem to realize that part of the winning formula in this franchise early on came from what Bloom and Knightley’s characters provided: heart and romance.

However, screenwriter Jeff Nathanson (“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”) struggles with balancing the many elements needed to successfully recreate the “Pirates” brand of chemistry. Many of the film’s one-liners and comic beats fall flat, its pacing drags, and its attempts at romantic tension lack any fire.

It’s not entirely Nathanson’s fault, to be fair. Directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg (Netflix’s “Marco Polo”) fall short in their effort to create scenes and set pieces worthy to stand alongside those of Gore Verbinski, who directed the first three films.

They do come close once or twice – watch for the fun “bank robbery” sequence near the start of the film that serves as audiences’ re-introduction to Jack – but more often the action tends to drag on towards monotony. There’s an energy, a cinematic magic, that’s missing here, and it’s been missing since Verbinski left the franchise.

Leads lack presence

There’s also no denying that the young stars serving as leads in “Dead Men Tell No Tales” – Thwaites and Scodelario – simply don’t have the presence to carry the film’s weight.

This, again, is a fault of the script. Nathanson seems to have designed Henry and Carina as characters to remind audiences of Will and Elizabeth at the start of the adventure, but the parallels are so heavy-handed that the characters just come off as bland copies.

Further, the actors, Thwaites and Scodelario, just aren’t Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. Bloom and Knightley’s combined charisma and chemistry could carry the earlier films despite their characters being underwritten or underdeveloped. Asking these two new actors to do the same is simply too much.

Finally, this new adventure’s villain, as well as the actor playing him, are a bitter disappointment. Bardem’s over-the-top delivery of Salazar is made even more ridiculous by the thickness of the Spanish accent he adopts for the fanatical Armada captain. Any terror the character might have inspired with his height and spectral appearance is lost because his line reads are so hard to understand half the time.

Worth seeing?

Given all that, it’s tough to recommend “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” beyond maybe catching it once it gets to home video or even cable.

However, if you’re a die-hard Johnny Depp fan or Jack Sparrow fan and you have to see it, do yourself a favor and avoid watching it in 3D. This is a very dark film, lighting-wise – many sequences are given the appearance of taking place at night or in dark spaces, and even scenes that take place in more conventional settings look dimly lit.

As 3D tends to make dimly lit films look even darker, the format does this movie no favors. In fact, it may even hinder any enjoyment you might otherwise experience from the film’s elaborate production and costume design.

Maybe Bruckheimer and company will get it right next time … and yes, there will be a next time.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Starring Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Kevin r. McNally and Geoffrey Rush. Directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg.
Running time: 129 minutes
Rated PG-13 for sequences of adventure violence, and some suggestive content.