BRADENTON, Fla. — It took years for FDNY firefighter Garrett Lindgren to be able to speak openly about the morning of September 11, 2001. The days and weeks that followed the attacks are still fresh in his mind. 

• Lindgren, company arrived at WTC moments after North Tower collapsed
• Spent hours searching in dark black smoke for other survivors
• Lindgren's health now in decline

Lindgren moved to Bradenton with his family in 2003. He retired from his post at Rescue 3 in the Bronx just a few months after the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center.

Even though he's more than 1,000 miles away from New York City, the anniversary of 9/11 doesn't get any easier. 

"I was very certain at that time, that I was likely not to survive," he said. 

It was a Tuesday morning when Lindgren said he just finished a 24-hour shift and was headed to meet friends for coffee. He was only five minutes into his commute when he says he heard on the radio that there was a fire at the World Trade Center. 

He rushed to the scene and arrived moments after the north tower fell to the ground.

"I called my wife when we were responding, because I wanted to speak to her one more time.” he said. "I was sure that everyone, myself and everyone with me, that we were likely going to our last fire.” 

Lindgren said the city was filled with dark black smoke, making it almost impossible to see. He was placed on a search and rescue mission, and began looking for survivors. 

"We didn't know what street, we couldn't see signs, we couldn't see anything," he said. "We abandoned the vehicle we responded in, because we couldn't see and were afraid we'd run over victims"

Minutes turned to hours, and Lindgren says much of his memory is a blur. In the coming days, he learned that well over 300 firefighters were killed in the attacks. 

Of that number, 62 he considered friends. He said many of those who were killed were never recovered from the scene. 

"More than half of them I believe we still haven't identified anything from them,” he said. 　

Now, 17 years later, Lindgren said his health is continuing to decline. Many first responders who rushed to the scene are experiencing a similar fate. 

"This is a terrorist attack that's still occurring, right to this second.” he stated.